Learning to Rise Above

I am finally getting the feeling that things are coming back around full circle. I have been floundering in a funk for the better part of a year, and for about five or six years prior to that I’ve been riding the downward slide into what is akin to personal Hell on earth. It’s not as though God has been absent through all of this, quite the contrary, He has been beside me the whole way. But it hasn’t stopped me from doubting almost everything I thought I knew or believed, and it has left me feeling quite isolated and alone in my thoughts. It is and has been difficult to share my inner most thoughts during all this because quite frankly if they were known they would probably prompt most people to find someone to lock me up as a loon. I know I see things from a vastly different angle than most… just ask my wife. But I also believe that the way I think gives me the ability to think in much broader spectrums than most people are willing to contemplate. I am not trying to say that I am smarter or deeper than anyone else, I’m just crazy enough to explore the ‘what if’s’ in life (no matter how absurd they may seem) that most people might ignore. That brings me back to the full circle thing that I mentioned at the start of this thread.
Because of the events that have made a train wreck of my life over the last six or seven years I have lost site of ‘truth’ and allowed ‘the stuff’ of life to eat away at my soul. Part of the suffering I have experienced I am quite certain has been orchestrated by God to break my steel rod of a stiff neck (as God has called it when referring to the Israelites), so that I could become more pliable in His hands. I have progressed during this time from; God I can ride this out until you change it, to, God how much longer until you change it, to, apathy because He won’t change it, to, resignation to His sovereign will, even if He never changes it. I am still struggling with that last thought but my heart is in the right place. And finally I’ve come back to the place that Paul talks about in Romans.

Romans 8:18 For I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worthy to be compared with the glory that is to be revealed to us.

God is in complete control of every single second you live and aware, and in control of every circumstance of your life.

Proverbs 15:3 The eyes of the LORD are everywhere, keeping watch on the wicked and the good.
2 Chronicles 16:9 For the eyes of the LORD range throughout the earth to strengthen those whose hearts are fully committed to him.

So if all this will be a distant memory when I am in heaven and God has it all handled while I am still here, then it’s probably better to just to buckle up, hold on and enjoy the ride.

God has made it pretty clear in His word that are primary focus is to be about doing His will. All the ‘stuff’ that we call life… our jobs, our bills, our problems, our selfish desires for more and more of what doesn’t satisfy us anyway… are distractions that Satan throws in our path to get us off track. God says that He will take care of everything we need and that our number one priority is to Love Him completely with all that we are and all that we have, and to share the love He gives us with everyone we know. Like I said in an earlier post; “Life would be much easier if we could see the reality of all that is unseen”. If we could then we wouldn’t have to keep reminding ourselves that, what we experience here doesn’t really matter in the end. The only thing that will matter is our response to it and how it was reflected in our commitment to being obedient to Him!

My fervent prayer is that he will open my eyes so that I can see Him more clearly, and open my ears so that I can hear the still small voice that’s helps me find my way home.

Be Still
© James Fuller 2006

Strife and confusion are all that we see,
a world in turmoil longing to be free.

We search for happiness and the peace that it brings
We look for comfort, but like eagles it takes wing.
It soars to the heavens ever higher it flees,
never attainable, it hovers just out of reach.

Strife and confusion are all that we see,
a world in turmoil longing to be free.

Peace and security are the fodder of kings,
long life and riches such trivial things.
Distractions are many, life is so frail
and all we pursue often sets sail.

Strife and confusion are all that we see,
a world in turmoil longing to be free.

We are consumed by such trivial means,
searching for life in all the wrong things.
The peace that we seek is easy to find,
it’s held in the hands of the father of time.

Strife and confusion are all that we see,
a world in turmoil longing to be free.
Be still He says, and know that your mine,
let go of your life…
And I will give you Mine.