Pinto vs. Ferrari

Home Alone Day 2:

Well, my wife and children are about half way to Florida… my kids have sent me several text messages and made a few phone calls to inform me of their progress. One text message in particular from my youngest son (he’s nine) just tore at my heart. I sent him a message that said; “I missed him” and he replied that he missed me too, but that he will always be in my heart and that he would never leave me… I sent back that he was making me cry tears of happiness and he replied with; “Be strong dad, I did not mean to make you cry”. He is the sweetest little guy in the world, as are all of my children.

I woke up to about five inches of snow in the driveway, which kind of puts a damper on any prospects for work today. If this weather keeps up it will really make me regret not to have gone with my family. There is a fair amount of busy work that I can do, but I was planning on doing this in the evenings instead of when I can be out during the day… Although this may be God’s way of telling me to take the time to do what I have intended, and spend some extended alone time with Him.

I miss the closeness to Him that it seemed I had just a few years ago. I have heard it said that if you don’t feel close to God anymore, He’s not the one who moved. I know haven’t moved, but I have allowed the cares of this world to invade the time I have with Him. I often feel isolated from Him. It’s as if I have been placed alone in a pressure cooker with an ever increasing amount of heat and pressure being applied to either make me stronger or continue rising until it breaks me. Each time I feel like I am at the end of what I can withstand, this little voice says… “Stop it! You know that you’re no where near the end of your rope.” God has continually demonstrated His faithfulness to His word, by being in just the right place at just the right time to rescue me from disaster. I have been on the stove so long that I can’t even begin to tell you when it was that I didn’t feel the weight of circumstance hanging over me. I often get this crazy feeling that I am destined for this. Not because of something I have done wrong… but because He is shaping me to be His voice of clarity in these last days. A voice that can speak not from what I have been told but what I have learned first hand. To boldly proclaim to others His Faithfulness to us in meeting our needs during these days of a crumbling economy and disaster that is sweeping our world. I often wonder and sometimes feel that we really are the last generation. That, WE will be the ones to see the world disintegrate into chaos and be the ones to see on a global scale what was prophesied come to pass.

Revelation 6:6:Then I heard what sounded like a voice among the four living creatures, saying, "A quart of wheat for a day's wages, and three quarts of barley for a day's wages, and do not damage the oil and the wine!"

I know He is there… I know He loves me… and I know that what ever I am going through has been filtered through His loving hands to serve His purpose. So I don’t worry. I didn’t say that I like it… I said; “I don’t worry”. When you have walked long enough in the desert it sure gives you an appreciation for what Paul was saying in Philippians:

Philippians 1:21-26:
For to me, to live is Christ and to die is gain. If I am to go on living in the body, this will mean fruitful labor for me. Yet what shall I choose? I do not know! I am torn between the two: I desire to depart and be with Christ, which is better by far; but it is more necessary for you that I remain in the body. Convinced of this, I know that I will remain, and I will continue with all of you for your progress and joy in the faith, so that through my being with you again your joy in Christ Jesus will overflow on account of me.

It isn’t hard to begin hating this life in comparison to what we hope for.

In a song by: Shawn McDonald the song ‘Gravity’ contains these lyrics in the last verse.

I want to fly
Into the sky
Turn my back on this WHOLE world AND
Leave it all behind
This place is not my home
It's got nothing for me
Only leaves me with emptiness
And tears in my eyes

I think that sums up the whole of how I feel.

Jesus told us it was going to be hard… and for some it will be harder than for others. I gave up all that I am for Him a long time ago… I had thrown my life away and it was Jesus who decided to bring me back from the edge of the cliff. Now, I am here for Him and Him alone. I will do as He asks for as long as He asks, with all of my heart. And at the risk of sounding fatalistic (which I am not) I am ready to go home when He is ready to take me.

If we really believe what He has told us about heaven…then we all would have the same feelings, and to say otherwise shows that you don’t believe Him.

The Christian walk is like having two cars. The one you drive everyday is an old beater 1971 Ford Pinto. The one that you can’t drive yet is a brand new Ferrari Enzo that is waiting for you in the garage. If you really believed the Enzo was in the garage you would be counting down the days until you could swap the Pinto for the Ferrari. But if you weren’t quite so sure the Enzo existed then you would be far more inclined to hang on the Pinto for as long as you can. As for me, I am ready to begin racing up and down the streets of heaven in my new Ferrari as soon as God lets me. You can keep driving the Pinto and calling me crazy or fatalistic for wanting to make the trade, it doesn’t matter to me, I know what is waiting after this and what we have here pales in comparison to the reality of what we hope for.

But for now, I’ll keep driving my Pinto through desert with no A/C and windows that don’t roll down, until the day it quits running or he lets me trade up for a better running Pinto.

Remember: when you are in the desert, it is God who applies the pressure to squeeze out the moisture needed to quench the thirst of those He has placed around us.