I am FREE… at least for the next week. And until I succumb to feelings of isolation and the longing for the embrace of my wife and children, I will enjoy it.
They left just a few minutes ago to go visit my in-laws in Florida for Christmas and to let the grandkids feel like Christmas break was more than just a few days off from school. I would have gone… but I have way too many obligations at work and… well to put it bluntly my in-laws would have preferred a different son-in-law. Don’t get me wrong they are great people and very gracious. They love their daughter and my children like there is no tomorrow, and they always make me feel welcome. But, behind it all, I know that deep down inside they really don’t like me and my presence is more tolerated than welcome.
Now that the house is mine for a week, I can crank up the stereo, and when I want to turn on the TV, the remote will be right where I left it and the house won’t be a disaster when I come home. I can drink right out of the milk jug and eat my dinner in the same pot I cooked it in. Not to mention that I can catch up on some work and other obligations without feeling the guilt of being home in time for supper… but, who am I kidding, I miss them even as I write this, and I pray that God sends a battalion of angels to protect them while they travel and that He brings them home in the same condition they left in.
But aside from the trivial aspects of being alone for a week, it will also allow for some extended one on one time with Jesus. It has been a tough couple of years, and the economy in the last few months has not made it look in easier and I've got a lot of pleading and tears to shed while I am with Him. I don’t get many times where I will be alone long enough to let the pent up emotions run free and still have time for my puffy reddened eyes to recover before another pair of innocent eyes gaze into mine and ask; “Daddy what’s wrong?”.
It’s not like there is anything wrong… not while God is in control. But I sure would like an easier hill to climb and time alone with Him will hopefully give me better insight on why things are like they are and what the heck I can do to make them better. And if at the end of the week I still have this row to hoe then so be it, He has His reasons and that’s good enough for me.
But while I have this week, I would ask that anyone who would read this would take a minute to pray for me and my family. Pray for me that I can get some clarity… and pray for my family that they would have an awesome time and be delivered home safely.
Thanks and God Bless.
Jim
1 comment:
...Hi, I am new to the site and was just reading through different blogs. I will say your name in prayer, but do remember you are in touch with Him, and as someone said, He knows just how much we can bear. Try meditating each day, to build up your inner core. Chamomile herbal tea is good for relaxing. Take care. Your family will return home fine. Be well.
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