A Bond Servants Life

Exodus 21:6 King James Version (KJV)

Then his master shall bring him unto the judges; he shall also bring him to the door, or unto the door post; and his master shall bore his ear through with an aul; and he shall serve him for ever.

In the earlier days and in some places today servants/slaves exist(ed). In the Old Testament the Jewish law gave guidelines as to ownership of slaves especially Jewish born slaves that were sold into slavery due to debts or for other reasons. Periodically the law required that the Jewish born slaves were to be set free, so that Gods people were not forced into slavery indefinitely. Within that law there was an exception that allowed an individual to willingly and permanently bond himself as a slave to his master for ever. Once the decision was made he would be taken to the masters’ door post and an awl would be driven through his ear into the door post and then he would tear his ear from the awl, permanently disfiguring his ear and marking him a slave for life.

It would seem odd that one would give up their life in the service of another. But if you consider the options of a poor uneducated man emerging into society with no network, money or opportunity, his options are few. And within a very short period of time he and his family would be begging on the streets. If his old master was gentle and kind, the life he had as a slave provided a far safer environment for his family and he would want for nothing as it would relate to his needs.

So it is with us! We are SO over matched in this life! The powers wielded by the unseen forces that wage war around us make us as though mere insects in their eyes. And the consequences of the mistakes we can make on our own without any external influence can destroy us. After a little more than a half century of living I have quit messing around and allowed my ear to be pinned to heavens door post. It was not a decision made from a joyous acceptance as an eternal slave… but one made from desperation. I look behind me at the legacy I am leaving and the vast wasteland that it is. It is empty and devoid of any real meaning or accomplishment when compared to eternity. And I now know just how overmatched I am. My only hope was that God would still allow me to return as His slave and live under His protection and for His purpose. There is nothing of value in this world outside of God. And until you can actually hand your entire life (past, present and future) over, with no agenda but His, you will never know the peace and security that comes from a life spent under His control. Absolutely NOTHING can happen to you that He has not blessed if you are following the plan He has for you. And there is no price you will pay that will compensate Him for the life He is offering. The crazy part is that He does not leave you as a slave. But literally He adopts you as His own; He becomes your true Father and you become heir to all that He is.

It is the most carefree existence imaginable. We all have another choice to make after placing our faith in Jesus for salvation. You can be the one spoken of in the Bible that presents to God a life filled with wood, hay and stubble to be burned up, arriving at heavens gate with your pants on fire… Or you choose to live as His heir, building His kingdom here with the precious metals and jewels that will last into eternity. You can choose to accept his offer of salvation and never even see the wonderful life that he wants to live with you. You can leave this world and step into the next never experiencing the freedom and joy He can give you while you still live here. If you choose to turn over to Him your every hope and dream and live completely for Him… pursuing Him above everything else in your life. Then He will personally take care of the “every things” in life leaving you without a care in the world. That is why Jesus could say; “do not worry about your life!” Because if you’re His then He has got it handled, and you have NOTHING to worry about.

Whatever you hope to build on your own will be destroyed when God rolls up the heavens and starts over again. The only thing you will take with you is that which you build here for Him. And the only true peace you will experience on this earth is only what He can give you.

Safe, sound and secure!

Stranger or Tourist?

In the first two chapters of 1 Peter; He tells us over and over to live as strangers in this world. And not to give in to the temptations of our flesh and its desire to love the things of this world. The Greek word used for 'strangers' translated means to live a temporary existence among foreigners. Jesus tells us that this world is a vapor that disappears like the morning dew.

If this world is temporary and merely a preparation for the next. Why do we live as this is the only existence that matters and the one God has prepared for us doesn't yet? If we believe God, and live as if we believed God... then we would live our lives here as soldiers engaged in the war that rages continuously around us. Instead of tourists on vacation!

GROWING UP!

Galatians 4 1-2 (NASB)

Sonship in Christ

Now I say, as long as the heir is a child, he does not differ at all from a slave although he is owner of everything, but he is under guardians and managers until the date set by the father.

God spoke to me in this verse today. He has always shown me a correlation or parallels between our earthly life and its structure and our relationship with Him. I am not going to spend a great deal of time detailing it. Even a mild study of the Bible will reveal this, and in many places the correlation is spoken of directly. Paul talks of us as infants needing to grow to maturity and defining what can and can not be fed to us. Jesus Himself makes the correlation between His upcoming marriage to the church and our own marriages and how we are to conduct ourselves within them using Him self as the example. If you examine scripture you will find over and over again varying layers of parallels, applicable to all aspects of our life.

In my own life after what seems as an eternity, I am certain that the date set by my father has come. I have been abiding in Him seeking Him and with all of my heart trying to find and give Him all of what He wants of me. And for the first time I feel like He just gave me the keys to the family car. A graduation into the next step of maturity if you will!

I think this verse speaks of what is happening in me right now as well as the evolution we all must make if we truly desire to serve and be used by God. In Galatians chapter four, Paul follows this verse in the context of humanity and the progression of Gods plan of salvation. But I see personal application in this simple statement when viewed with Paul’s other writings regarding our growth and maturity in Christ.

Think about your own children! From the time they were born you were there to meet virtually any and every need or desire they had. They were completely incapable of doing anything on there own. And growing from a toddler to a teenager they began to take more responsibility for there lives and actions but all completely under your guidance and protection. The further they would step away from you during this time, the more disastrous the consequences of their failures became and the pain they would suffer because of it. But you were there to help as they would allow. Until, ultimately they would come to a place of decision. “Do I follow in the way my father has taught me, or do I go it on my own?” From that point forward what happens to them is out of your control. If they fall and reach out to you, as a father you will always be there. But until, or unless they are with you, following you… never leaving your side. They will be outside of your constant guard and protection and will continue to fall and fail, sometimes to the point of death.

So it is with us and God.

There are many people of various stages of growth in the church. They all are Gods children, heirs of the throne. But they are still kids. Kids with no power or responsibility; because they still are incapable of managing their own affairs, let alone being able to handle any responsibility! And in the Bible they read of and in their own church’s they see people used by God, people with power and influence. And they wonder; “Why not me?”

Before God can use us there is a journey we must make to maturity. In my own life growing up has been filled with tremendous pain and horrible mistakes. Some that almost cost me my life. But like the prodigal son, I came home. And because I came home unconditionally, with no agenda but to follow in my Fathers footsteps; He gave me back the keys to the car. Because He knows where I am going!

When we hand our teenagers the keys to the car, it is a moment filled with fear and dread. We don’t know what they will do, or if they will even return from their first solo journey. But not so with God! He knows… he knows where you will go, what you will do and what the outcome will be before you ever leave the driveway.

And you aint gettin the keys to the car until He KNOWS your mature enough and it will work out right!      

Puss or a Pearl?

I write to organize my thoughts. Sometimes they make sense and then I try and put them in a venue that may benefit others, the rest I don’t talk about so I can continue to walk freely amongst society. The words you read will bring to mind some pretty gross images… but stay with it, there is a point!

I have come to think that what happened with Adam in the garden as it relates to original sin, was more than just a casual blanket curse on his offspring. I think that in addition to societal sin, each of us is given a bent towards one or more things that are sinful and often self-destructive. Many times this bent (in the Hebrew it is called ‘derek’ found in Proverbs 22:6) if allowed to be shaped and molded in a positive manner can become an attribute. But if left unchecked can become the instrument of our demise. And then there are those like me. Who walked on the other side of that line before Jesus rescued us and maybe we enjoyed just a little too deeply, or stayed just a little too long. And now that bent has become both that with which you wrestle to remain pure and the instrument that drives you and makes you a valuable tool when used by God.

In my own life it has become an irritant of significant magnitude. So much so, that I have this sense of gathering. Like this giant struggle with my Yetzer hara (another Hebrew term, look it up on Google) is finally coming to a head. And that is when this whole crazy idea popped in my head.

In nature we have all heard of the Oyster and the Pearl. How a grain of sand becomes trapped in the folds of the muscle and the oyster secretes a special fluid that coats the irritant until finally after layer upon layer has been applied it becomes so large that the oyster is able to push it to a head and birth a Pearl, so to speak. Then while looking in the mirror this morning I had a similar thought about man. Not man in the gender sense but humans in general, and how we as humans deal with an irritant trapped under our skin. Our bodies begin to also secrete a fluid around the irritant. And as the fluid builds it gels and under time and pressure sours to some degree and begins to harden. And a little white bubble appears on our skin to which most of us with OCD can not stand to see on our face so we squeeze it and out explodes the irritant wrapped in smelly useless puss.

So, then I thought which one am I? What am I about to birth? Am I still a man with a pockmarked face about to pop a zit. Or this time, have I allowed God to change me into an oyster so I can birth a beautiful pearl for Him?

Which are you?

The Human side of life!

Hebrews 4:15 (NASB)

For we do not have a high priest who cannot sympathize with our weaknesses, but One who has been tempted in all things as we are, yet without sin.  

The Bible tells us that Jesus was tempted in every way that we are. I have often wandered how it would be possible to tempt Him if He was God and knew it. I think the knowing it part is the key. When Jesus was tempted by Satan at the start of His ministry, it was His flesh that Satan was appealing to. After not eating or drinking for 40 days I am sure His flesh was pretty weak. But the God side of Jesus would not have even remotely been tempted by what Satan offered. The implication is that Jesus’ voice of the flesh had as much influence and control over Him as it does us. And I believe that was true for Him all the way until the end of the cross.

Everything we do as it relates to God, no matter how strongly believed is still rooted in faith. I am discovering that the closer that I am able to draw near to God the more distinctly it seems I can hear or sense in my inner thoughts and the separation between my flesh and my spirit.

Know one can know for sure the feelings Jesus possessed, nor are we privy to His inner thoughts. But if the implication in Hebrews 4:15 is that Jesus had to face life as we do, then I have to believe that He also heard both the voice of His flesh and the voice of (in His case) God, because His spirit was God. But in order for temptation to have occurred both the voices would have to been divided within Him as they are within us. And the struggle for control would have occurred within Him as it does within us.  I personally believe that even as they were nailing Him to the cross His flesh was screaming in His head… “You crazy fool, your going to die for nothing, NONE OF THIS MAKES SENSE”. And just as we have to be obedient to the voice of the Spirit given to us by God in spite of our circumstances, so did He! And regardless of how strongly we/He believe in what we are doing the only evidence that what we are doing is right will still be rooted in Faith. The voice of our flesh will continue to cry out until our body is dead and we are standing in eternity.

I turned 52 last year. In the thirty plus years that I have devoted my life to God I have seen His faithfulness and miraculous intervention into my life so many times and in such magnificent ways that one would think there is never a day of doubt. But you would be wrong! There is doubt every day. And in spite of  the fact that God has never failed or broken His promise to me… not even a little bit, there are times and days when I am still over whelmed by my circumstances. And even though it is not directly stated in the bible that Jesus faced the exact same struggle with His inner voice as I do, I believe He did all the way up to the end.

It gives me comfort to know He did it too. In spite of what we see, just as with Jesus so it is with us… we must decide which voice to serve and which to ignore.    

Listening from Behind

Isaiah 30:21 Whether you turn to the right or to the left, your ears will hear a voice behind you, saying, “This is the way; walk in it.”

What is it that God is saying here? “I want you to move forward even if you do not see me up ahead or even with you right now. Trusting me to guide you safely regardless of what appears to be in front of you”.

Personally I think the verse paints a picture of one who has been traveling forward and is now standing at a fork in the road. And God is saying; “This is the way to go”. The traveler didn’t know his destination when he began or he would have known which way to go. The traveler did not know what to expect on the road ahead and God did not tell him the fork was coming or where to turn until he arrived. And because he is not traveling in a direction of his own choosing he must rely upon God to guide him virtually every step of the way, trusting Him as he travels to keep him safe. He doesn’t know how long the trip will last and therefore he cannot possibly determine what is needed for the journey and must rely on God to provide for him as he goes.

It is kind of like giving your boss a ride to an awards ceremony he is hosting for you. You know where he is taking you but not how to get there. In essence you have to allow him to guide you (from behind) as you move forward with the car and he tells you where to go. You have complete control of the car and can deviate from his directions if you want, but then you won’t make it to the celebration being held in your honor.

I invited God into my car many years ago. I discussed my plans and dreams with him, started the car and began my journey. But like most of us, I don’t handle back seat drivers very well. And many times it became really disruptive to my plans when He kept telling me to turn around or stop here, or turn here… didn’t He know I was obeying all the laws of the road (well for the most part anyway) and am a perfectly fine driver who knows exactly where he is going! And He has stayed with me every step of the way, all the way to the point where my awesome driving skills and purposeful journey to my destination has landed me in the middle of a desert out of gas and not a soul in sight, just God and I in my broke down car.

I really wish I had asked Him for directions to the party before I started the car.

It took a while to get some gas and get back on the road… and I have a lot of backtracking to do in order to get to the celebration on time. But He is still here, and the trip has never been better. The road sure is a lot easier when the one who knows the way is telling you where to go… and the best part of all is He pays for the gas and the outcome is His responsibility. The only thing that would make it better is, if He would drive the darn car every once in a while! J

The Subtle ways we say; “No”!

Turning fifty must do to a man what turning twenty does, just in reverse. I remember in my twenties waking up as if from a fog. I was about as wild as one can get and still live to tell about it. But when I finally figured out that I had to make a life for myself, I remember revaluating my entire belief system. I threw out virtually every foundational premise I had been taught with the exception of one; God and His Book… and then I started all over again! I have read and studied it (Gods Book) countless times over my life, ravenously so when I was younger! But earlier on I allowed it to speak into my life and lay the foundation for what I was going to believe going forward.

Now here I sit at 52, and truthfully I am worn out inside. Not from living or working, but from living with thirty years of memories to reflect on, and realizing how vastly different my life looks than the one a wide eyed twenty year old had envisioned. Reflection must be a part of turning fifty, because with each year I turn my eye ever deeper… ever inward. I guess for all men there really is an unavoidable “Mid-Life Crisis”! I am personally not having one in the classic sense, because there isn’t anything I wanted to do that I didn’t do or didn’t try to do. But more in the sense of; “What value does my life bring”? I have lived a good life by most standards. It hasn’t been a total disaster by any stretch. Although, there has been much tragedy and disaster over the last thirty years, but that is a part of living. I made God some pretty radical promises in my twenties… and again in my late thirties… and now I don’t see a shred of evidence that I even attempted to keep my promise. It really brings a sense of desperation! I stand here looking at the down hill side of life, and so far I have built nothing for the God that I say I love and serve! I can not fathom the thought of finally standing in front of Him after living most of my life telling Him how much I have loved Him, with nothing in my hands to show for it. How is it that I have awakened every day for the last thirty years asking God; “What do you want me to do today” and still have not done anything for Him?

Most people are content to live a good life and make sure that they and the people they love make it to heaven. I want that too! But there is a part of me that owes God everything… (All of me, all of us owe God everything) but the part of me that I am talking about is almost like a person that lives within me. It is the person that still remembers from what and how I was purchased from the flames, I can never forget it… and on top of that He had to physically rescue me twice! (It is a long story, you can ask me later). This entity within me wants with a feverous burning desire to be one of Gods favorite treasures. I was less than nothing when He reached out to me, and the realization that He still loved and wanted me did something inside that I can not describe. Many years later after a series of horrific mistakes, I became broken again, broken beyond repair… and He reached out again! I have no excuse!

I so want to hear His voice again!

I am pretty sure I know how I ended up here. It has to do with our understanding of Lordship and what living as a bond servant really entails. I thought that I had surrendered myself completely to God and in my heart I know I did. Living with my idea of surrender I began to make plans for my life. I began to consider a career, marriage, and family, everything that all of us do in life… but we usually make those decisions before we truly grasp what it means to live ‘FOR’ God not ‘WITH’ God. And after we gain that understanding we begin to mold the life we have created into what He wants to create. But that wasn’t me! I came to Him on a blank check. Then I made some choices and decisions without any real consideration for Gods plan and afterward asked God to come along for the ride… and He did! I dreamed so loud and kept looking for God up ahead woven into my plans that I never even thought to listen to His voice from behind me!

Isaiah 30:21 Your ears will hear a word behind you, “This is the way, walk in it,” whenever you turn to the right or to the left.

Fifty two years… It is Jan 1^st… A new year and the bench mark for what begins my fifty third year of walking this planet. And everything I have, everything around me is of my own creation.

So He said, “Go forth and stand on the mountain before the Lord.” And behold, the Lord was passing by! And a great and strong wind was rending the mountains and breaking in pieces the rocks before the Lord; but the Lord was not in the wind. And after the wind an earthquake, but the Lord was not in the earthquake. After the earthquake a fire, but the Lord was not in the fire; and after the fire a sound of a gentle blowing. When Elijah heard it, he wrapped his face in his mantle and went out and stood in the entrance of the cave. And behold, a voice came… 1 Kings 19 11-13.

I don’t think what I did is so different than what most of us do in one way or another. I think all of us can hear Gods voice. We just dismiss it. We do it because we can do so, so easily. It is that quiet thought that is louder than all others for just a moment. Sometimes it is telling you; “you know you shouldn’t do that”! And other times it tells you that you should. As I think back in my own life, I know many times it stood in the face of what I wanted to do… but because just a simple conscious decision to make it go away silences it, we never hear it for what it is. We all listen for the voice of God in great and mighty things, but I don’t think that is where we will hear it. God can and will speak. History is littered with examples of God speaking in ways that are obvious. But the only examples I can find or have ever seen that show God speaking into an individual’s life are subtle and easily dismissed. If you want to have a daily two way conversation with God you have to learn to listen to that voice… His voice! It will never dictate… it will only guide. It is up to you if you want to listen.

For me, I hope I hear Him speak again… speak of a new beginning for a new year. To give Him what little I have left to begin to build what He wants, not what I want Him to bless.

God Bless.